Laying Down the Law

Well, today's test didn't reveal anything. I'm not surprised. However, there's always the tiniest little glimmer of inspiration that twinkles somewhere far off in the corner of my brain that's hoping that we'll get our positive this time. It will happen eventually; I just don't know how long my enthusiasm will hold out.

Today I've been reflective, thinking about my previous pregnancies and remembering the reactions people have had to first the news of my upcoming bundle of joy and then, later, to my bulging abdomen. It would seem that the idea of someone having a baby reveals a hidden, shallow rudeness in most people. Here's a fun idea: announce to your family, "we're having a baby," and then observe. For some of you they might be happy but if they're like my family they'll become nasally with grimaces not unlike those worn by folks who have just had the unpleasant experience of inhaling the rancid odor of sour milk. Then a hesitation as if they're trying to find a diplomatic way of telling you that they think you're insane. And then finally they open their mouths and some hurtful diarrhea comes out like, "oh, really." Not to be confused with the happily excited, "REALLY?"

I think it's terribly rude when people don't think before they speak - or touch for that matter. When we were expecting Hamilton I told Josh that the next person who touches my belly is going to get felt up! Yep, you manhandle my belly, I'm gonna cop a feel. Hey, it's only fair! I was actually beginning to look forward to the mortification that I was sure to cause. Josh never passed up a chance to go grocery shopping with me for fear that he might miss the fireworks. His anticipation reminded me of the stance and expression possessed by video gamers when they're racing for the finish line. Nine months later and no takers. Then we became pregnant with Daisy and I reinstated the reciprocal touch rule. Much to my disappointment I still have yet to fondle a boob. I must have a big sign on my back that says, "don't touch the bump," because two whole pregnancies later and nobody has dared to trespass upon my body. Oh well, maybe with the next one...