The Beginning

**I started this journal in a Word document. Since I can't backdate here, I am just including what I have all in one entry.

It took a while but now we’ve decided; it was easy and we just knew that despite all of the negative feedback that we’re sure to receive from our families, we really want another baby. Of course this means a serious upgrade to make accommodations for four kids: a bigger car, bunk beds for the boys and a new toddler bed for Daisy.  We’re not even pregnant yet and I’m already itching to go out shopping for our eventual little tyke. So without further delay, here’s our baby journal:

December 22, 2010 ~ We’ve visited this topic before, many times: do we want another baby? We’ve always said not now, but maybe we've finally gotten past that moment and into a time where it's feasible. So today the subject came up again; we’re pretty sure we’re ready to try for another baby. Daisy is 18 months old and with all of the ambitions we have for the future, it’s now or never. But we’re going to sleep on it and see how we feel about it tomorrow.

December 23, 2010 ~ Ok, it’s decided: we’re going to try to make a baby! Wow, I’m so excited I can’t stop smiling. I keep touching my belly remembering what it felt like to have a little person growing in there and now anticipating another one. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I’ve got to run out and grab a few last minute gifts for the kids. I think I’ll peruse the baby section too while I’m at the store. Eeeee, I can’t believe we’re really going to do this.

December 24, 2010 ~ After using a few online calculators, it has been determined that I’m most likely to ovulate on January first. In which case, our new little sweetie should be arriving sometime around September 26^th.  So I dashed off to the store to shop for the kids with a sweet little secret teasing my mind. Once I had all of the items picked out and in the basket, I headed straight for the baby department. The selection of gender-neutral apparel was grim but I couldn’t just walk out empty-handed. I can’t go crazy about it, we aren’t even pregnant yet! I just got a couple of things and then hurried home. Today I bought for the baby:
* one package of 5 white Onesies that we’ll likely tie-dye.
* one package of 3 white long-sleeved body suits that we will also likely tie-dye.

December 25, 2010 ~ Merry Christmas! The kids had a really good day. We just stayed home and embraced our amazing young family while we daydreamed of future Christmases with one additional stocking decorating the wall.

December 26, 2010 ~ Josh left for West Virginia tonight. I hate when he has to leave, especially around the holidays. I think it’s even worse now because his absence may prevent us from conceiving a baby this month. I’m a little sad but the excitement of our decision is holding the tears at bay. It’s funny, I love this baby already and it’s not even conceived yet!

December 30, 2010 ~ Oh, what a day! First, it snowed. In Arizona. Not much but there was enough to scrape off of the windows of the car to make a small snowball. Then Damian’s grandma came over for a few hours to bring the kids gifts. I had promised I would take Tianna shopping for an outfit as part of her Christmas gift so as soon as Linda left we bundled ourselves up and dashed out to do our shopping. I was secretly excited for another chance to shop for baby paraphernalia but dreading the department stores post-Christmas. I was right. Kohl’s was a madhouse with the checkout line wrapped halfway around the store. Then we went to Target where I found a whole booty of baby items on clearance. After that, we grabbed a bite of fast food and then headed to the grocery store. By the time we arrived home I was worn out and my feet hurt from wearing my snow boots all day. Today I bought for the baby:
* one Christmas sleep and play outfit that says I *heart* Santa, size 3-6 months.
* one duck print sleep and play outfit, size NB
* one 3-pack of neutral print sleepers, size newborn
* one convertible duck print 3-piece outfit, size 3 months
* one 5-pack of neutral colored Onesies, size 0-3 months
* one super soft yellow and white striped sleep bag with a duck on the front, size 0-6 months
* one 3-pack of neutral print body suits, size 3-6 months
*one white and green long-sleeved body suit for St. Patrick’s day, size 6 months
* one oral thermometer
* one 6 oz. VentAire Playtex bottle
* one box of 6 reusable nursing pads
* one box of 50 breast milk storage bags
* one bottle of prenatal vitamins

December 31, 2010 ~ New Years Eve. Josh should be home tomorrow afternoon. I drove a million miles to take Tianna back to Phoenix. Thankfully David and Jeanette took the boys to a movie so I had a few hours of hanging out with Daisy before they came home. Later, our landlord came over with gifts for kids and a big platter of cookies. I ate so many that now my stomach hurts and I’m feeling nauseous. It’s going to be an early night if I can ever get the babies to bed. I’m pooped and really missing Josh. Tomorrow should be the day that we make our baby. I’m crossing fingers and toes and everything else I can cross that it happens this month.

January 1, 2011 ~ Josh is home! Let the show begin!

January 2, 2011 ~ I’m not sure if I’m ovulating or not but we should be any time now so we’re still trying. We went out and bought more baby stuff too. At this rate we’ll be all ready for the next little cutie before we even tell people. This afternoon Josh and I wished on a wish bone from yesterday’s chicken and the weirdest thing happened; the bone broke into 3 pieces leaving both of our fragments the same length while the tip of the bone flew across the room. I said it’s probably because we both made the same wish. I’m not sure if it means we both get our wish or if it means that neither of us gets our wish. Only time will tell. Today we bought for the baby:
*a sleep and play neutral print outfit, size 0-3 months
*a sleep and play striped neutral outfit, size 3-6 months
*a sleep and play teddy bear print  outfit, size newborn
*a fuzzy sleep and play duck print outfit, size newborn
*a 6-piece beige and white duck print layette, size 6-9 months

January 3, 2011 ~ The shop is closed up now. If we didn’t make a baby in the last couple of days then we’ll have to hope for the next cycle.  Oh, the waiting is going to make me crazy. Two. Long. Excruciating. Weeks until we find out if we’re pregnant.